Dear Future Humans 00:00

Dear Future Humans,

We aren’t sorry.

Sure, we were worried about you…But not that much. What did you expect us to do?  You mad about those giant dirty mountains of plastic waste looming on the horizon? Sorry we were thirsty. What about those wildfires burning on the edge of town? Well, our McMansions weren’t going to fit just anywhere. We had to log the shit out of the woods to build them.

Also, you’re welcome for those never-blue, perma-grey skies. That unnatural grey color is caused by carbon capture technology, which is likely our last and best hope to thwart climate change. It’s not like we could just quit driving to work. Did you want us to walk or bike or something? Please. How would we get home in time to binge our favorite shows?

See, Future Humans, if we seem callous it’s because we are. We don’t care about you. Sure, some people did. Some righteous do-gooders tried to make a difference by drinking out of multi-use water bottles and using weird hemp tote bags. Some of them even quit buying single-use plastic altogether. Believed in scientific realities and voted for green-thinking candidates and devoted themselves to shrinking their carbon footprints. Made ethical consumer choices and started grassroots campaigns.  

But that sounds like a lot of work. Most of us are lazy and literally cannot comprehend the fact that our children and grandchildren will inhabit a dying planet. Even when we had a mere decade left to change course, invest in sustainable energy, cut out waste and move towards a brighter future for all people…Honestly, we just didn’t really feel up to it.

Of course, there’s a chance that you’ll be reading this letter in the educational VR simulator that you have a healthy, non-addictive relationship with. That you’ll put down this letter to take a stroll through the well-paved streets full of electric cars that wind through your eco-friendly city. Maybe you’ll even be reading this letter on some kind of futuristic device in reclaimed parklands, drinking organic wine with your friends and wondering where all of this apocalyptic nonsense came from.  

We actually really, sincerely hope you are. We hope that you are so badly, we started the CONVICTS: BREAK UP WITH PLASTIC initiative to reduce single-use plastic and raise awareness, because we actually love you and are super sorry for ruining this mysterious, organic party known as Earth.  

So cheers to hoping we’re wrong. To hoping that we get our act together on climate change…because it’s not a problem that will define generations to come: it’s a problem that will determine whether there are generations to come. Cheers to you, Future Humans, for cleaning up our mess. There are probably plenty of plastic gloves lying around for you to wear while doing so. Be sure not to miss any spots!


CONVICTS x Late Capitalist Humanity