Last week, we saw Colton and his gang avoiding local food around Singapore. This week, Colton the Carnivore continued his love-rampage in Thailand, touring cloudy backstreets and mysterious limestone karsts.
It would have been exciting, if this spectacle wasn’t technically human trafficking. Big changes seemed to be afoot this episode, however, as Colton spared the women from undergoing another rose ceremony, leaving our thirst for blood unquenched. Oh well!
The fun began this week with a one-on-one date with Colton and Heather, who had never been kissed, giving Colton the opportunity to take something precious from one of his captives. Colton kisses Heather, lying in wait for hours until the sun set and fireworks exploding, concealing his attack from above. She seemed very excited by this, as if she had swallowed a postcard, and they returned to their safe house. Wholesome!
When the two return, a small act of rebellion destabilizes Colton’s empire of suffering. Elyse pulls on a vaguely bridal statement dress, and tells Colton she is leaving the show. After a very confusing conversation about needs and wants, she kissed Colton goodbye and was placed in a small van that sped off into the balmy night, presumably into a nearby swamp or river. The tribe has spoken!
Next up was the desert island kidnapping of Cassie. Poor Cassie: once, she was a speech pathologist in California. Last night, we found her as one of Colton’s captives, lying on a soggy mat on the front of a rickety boat. Colton took his date to a tiny desert tidal island (obviously an implicit threat to abandon her if she doesn’t open up emotionally).
He dunks her in the ocean a few times and they return to the house.
A rumble in the jungle took place between B-team captives Nicole and Onyeka. The physical exhaustion and sleep deprivation robbed them both of clear communication skills, leading to lots of folded arms and the feathery rush of batting eyelashes.
Most likely Colton will eject them both, but not until early next week: the evening concludes on a cliffhanger. Colton spent the better part of their fight observing for amusement, but stepped away when he grew weary. This is an untold truth of being the primary captor to thirteen women: it’s all very tiring. Maybe he should just…stop?
Find out what comes of all this culty madness next Monday, when the group is smuggled to another undisclosed location. Funzo!
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