Due to our relentless commitment to high-grade journalism, CONVICTS recently made a trip to a pop up “cannabis fair” in Washington D.C., at a spot on H Street called the Avery Lounge. Selling marijuana is illegal in the District of Columbia, however, the gifting or possession of up to one ounce is legal in the federal city-state.

At this fair, a markedly diverse crowd of patrons made “donations” to vendors in tacit exchange for any number of cannabis products. The scene was far less regulated than that of a Coloradan dispensary, and nearly within sight of Capitol Hill, where Alabama’s foremost leprechaun, Attorney General Jeff Sessions, was likely rotting his teeth drinking over-sweetened iced-tea.

Last week, Sessions declared his intention to reverse the “Cole Memo,” an Obama-era executive order that directed federal law enforcement to essentially, leave the cannabis industry alone in states that legalize the drug.  

Quoted in 2016 as saying that “good people don’t smoke marijuana,” Sessions seems to have a personal vendetta against the ganja. Thankfully, for our collective sanity, we cannot see into Jeff Sessions’ head. However, we at CONVICTS suspect that Jeff Sessions privately refers to marijuana as “the devil’s lettuce” and views it as a subversive hippie vice.

Of course, pot has its own drawbacks and risks. But in general, weed makes music sound better, food taste better, deep thought more accessible if sometimes tricky to articulate, and laughter with friends come even easier. This is probably not news to our readership, but it’s worth noting that essentially, marijuana does not motivate one to slave away on the capitalist treadmill of production and consumption that Republicans tend to fetishize.

Thus, it’s not mind blowing to think that the drug’s subversive connotations seem to be what law-and-order Republicans like Jeff Sessions have disliked about marijuana since the 1960’s.

For a long time, Republicans have ostensibly championed “states’ rights,” small government, and opposed overreach by the federal government. Session’s move on the “Cole Memo,” is an explicit rejection of this credo. Whether this is empty political grandstanding on the administration’s behalf, or a serious law enforcement policy remains to be seen.  

Regardless, Session’s decision is a tasty piece of irony.  Even more delightful is the fact that citizens are smoking weed, vaping hash oil, eating edibles, and dabbing dabs with impunity in the town in the Attorney General’s backyard.