Forties: that maligned and misunderstood booze container. The forty has an unfair stigma attached. Due to its ridiculously low price and often malted contents, an unfortunate number of thirsty individuals consider the forty beneath them. We at CONVICTS believe this is an elitist and impractical attitude.
See, contrary to popular opinion, the forty is the best beer vessel on the market. Aside from its endorsement by Billy Dee Williams-none other than Lando Calrissian himself-the forty offers one the perfect amount of beer. If you’re drinking PBR or Miller High Life, you’re probably not drinking just one can. You’re probably not even drinking just two. That’s why the forty’s payload of three and a quarter normal sized beers is optimal for buzz catching: it is neither excessive nor stingy. More than refreshing, but not totally intoxicating. Plus, you literally cannot beat the price: between $2 and $3 a pop, once can scrounge enough change from the couch to purchase one.
Moreover, unlike lugging around a cumbersome six pack, the forty is optimally portable and easily recyclable. Moreover, with spring around the corner, it’s worth noting that the forty is ideal for mobile drinking sessions of questionable legality. The brown bag method is tried and true.
With all of this in mind, we’ve created a few classy, experiential forty-ounce beer pairings for your consumptive enjoyment.
Miller High Life and A Sunny Day in the Park
Let it be known: the Champagne of Beers comes in a champagne sized bottle. The Forty of Miller High Life is a golden torpedo of good cheer. Flavorful, yet drinkable in large quantities. This makes High Life the forty of choice for drinking in the park, when you are being your best self on a sunny spring Saturday. Bonus points: with the beer fraulein in the crescent moon, High Life obviously has the coolest bottle art.
PBR on a Rooftop in Brooklyn
Though the cliche all time hipster beverage, PBR is still a classic workhorse beer. As a wiseman once said, “PBR doesn’t have better flavor, it just has more flavor.” That’s why PBR is the choicest forty for evening drinkathons. Thicker, hoppier, and more alcoholic than its mass-produced peers, PBR is a warming beverage. That’s why rooftop sessions in BK are the ideal venue for this: you need a little inner blanket to protect yourself from the East River wind, plus you’re engaged in a classically PBR friendly activity: looking at Manhattan and wondering when you’re going to make it big.
Olde English and a Blunt
This is perhaps the classic forty activity. Popularized by rappers from Snoop Dog to Easy-E, blunts and forties go together like wine and cheese, like peanut butter and jelly. You will feel, instantly, like a rapper while enjoying this pairing. Moreover, Olde English-while slightly burnt tasting-packs a good wallop to keep the paranoia off if your overcook it, plus the abundance of liquid will keep that dry mouth away. This is the varsity pairing right here.
Budweiser/Lite and Fast Food
Budweiser and Bud Lite are the McDonald’s of beer. If you were drinking a twelve ounce can of Bud Lite, we’d recommend that you pair it with a McDouble, or even a Whopper. Since you’re drinking a forty of the sugariest, corn syrupiest, most ‘Merican beer, we suggest that you pair it with about four McDoubles, or a Big Mac and nuggets, or really any disgusting amount of fast food.
Oysters and Miller High Life, Specific to Chinatown’s 169 Bar
We know we’ve already touched on High Life, but this is an elite piece of insider information: the famous 169 Bar in Chinatown sells forties behind the bar. Aside from being one of the zaniest drinking holes in New York City, 169 Bar is a solidly ratchet establishment that serves fine oysters amongst the Christmas lights and rubber dinosaurs mounted on the wall. That’s why we suggest that, for your next happy hour, you go to 169 Bar, drink a few oysters and eat a Miller High Life.
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