Words by Cameron Higgins

In honor of National Beer Day, your humble CONVICTS writer drank a million cold ones last night.  Usually, he is deeply enthusiastic about beer. It is undoubtedly his favorite food. Much as he’d like to craft a poetic ode to froth-pups, foamers, grown sodas, tinnies, pints, light beer, dark beer, lager, IPA, pilsner, stout, amber, sour, porter, brown ale, hops and malts and barley and water…his brain currently feels like the sludge coating the bar at the end of the night. So, to celebrate this noblest of days, we’ve assembled some choice quotes about beer from minds superior to ours.

“I want a beer. I want a giant, ice-cold bottle of beer and shower sex.”

– Nora Roberts

“I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.”

– Abraham Lincoln

“There is an ancient Celtic axiom that says ‘Good people drink good beer.’ Which is true, then as now. Just look around you in any public barroom and you will quickly see: Bad people drink bad beer. Think about it.”

– The Good Doctor, Hunter S. Thompson

“Never underestimate how much assistance, how much satisfaction, how much comfort, how much soul and transcendence there might be in a well-made taco and a cold bottle of beer.”

Tom Robbins

“Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!”

Martin Luther

“When all else fails, there is music. When that fails you, there is beer.”

 – James Hauenstein

“Beer sucks.”

Satan