Words by Cameron Higgins

Well, your and my and everyone’s NCAA bracket is busted sideways. True, March Madness is an excellent ride for college basketball fans, bookies, and the sports consuming masses. It’s drama is sort of unparalleled…except we know what’s going to happen.  One team will win, and 64 will lose.

However, there’s an even sweeter Sweet Sixteen kicking off tonight.  This competition will pit Frosty’s against McFlurry’s, burgers against tacos.  That’s right: Fast Food March Madness is kicking off tonight with sixteen entrants. Unlike the NCAA Tournament, the Fast Food Tournament starts with sixteen teams because there aren’t sixty-four worthy national fast food chains.   It’s an elite event that takes place at the same time as the March Madness games. So you don’t miss out on any of the basketball, CONVICTS will provide you a post-game summary on each of the matchups over the next week.

Start filling out your brackets.

 

CHICKEN REGION

Popeyes

Chick-fil-A

Wendy’s (on account of their spicy chicken dankness and Bojangles’s regional ineligibility)

KFC

 

BURGER REGION

Burger King

McDonald’s

Hardee’s

Taco Bell (on account of the functional burger meat filling the entirety of their menu items)

 

SANDWICH REGION

Arby’s

Jersey Mikes

Subway

Jimmy John’s

 

PIZZA REGION

Dominoes

Papa Johns

Pizza Hut

Little Caesar’s