So you’re finally ready to get down with 2018’s hottest, most nihilistic food craze: eating Tide Pods. But since you’re a cultured human, you don’t want to just wolf down the pleasantly squishy, candy-looking package of laundry detergent.

That’s why CONVICTS prepared a list of your favorite dishes, only remixed with Tide Pods. This way, you can say bad words and clean your mouth out with soap in the same meal!

Disclaimer: Don’t ever eat Tide Pods, or any of these. Eating Tide Pods is discouraged by Convicts and can lead to serious health concerns.

Swedish Meatpods

Brown your pods, serve on a toothpick. Watch your party guests collapse with stomach pain.

Jalapeno Podders

Fry your pods in a pan, wrap in a jalapeno, dunk in cream cheese. Eat. Foam at the mouth.

Podzza

Flatten dough into pizza pie, add cheese and sauce, place pods on top and bake in pizza oven. Sit back, enjoy a few slices, then suffer through one of your favorite movies.

Firecracker Pods

Marinate the pods in ginger, sesame, and chili sauce. Fry. Eat.Puke.

Pod Nuggets

Batter your pods in breading, fry. Eat. Lay on the couch wishing you were at a dentist appointment.

Pod Sliders

Like burger sliders, only with a Tide Pod instead of a delicious patty. Don’t add mustard or ketchup. Both will dilute that good soapy taste.

Podding

Melt your pods into a soupy mixture. Let the slurry sit, then eat with a spoon for dessert. Wake up with a Satanic heartburn.